I never knew my grandparents.

My father’s parents were trapped in North Korea, and my mother’s parents stayed in South Korea when we emigrated to the United States.

Grandparents were something other families had—like built-in babysitters who smelled like sesame oil and peppermint candy. I understood the concept, but not the experience.

Steve, on the other hand, grew up with a set of grandparents who were fully present in his life.

His grandmother—affectionately called Mor Mor—baked for him every week.

The warm-kitchen, flour-dusted, “have another cookie” kind of grandmother. His stories make me feel like I missed out on a very specific kind of love.

And now our kids? They didn’t get that either.

Steve and I had our children later in life.

By the time we were married, his parents had already passed away.

My father was gone, and my mother was living in California while struggling with Alzheimer’s. I’ve always carried a quiet ache over it—not guilt exactly, just sadness for something they never got to experience.

The Benefits of Grandparents for Children (What the Research Says)

Because I’m me—and because I write newsletters during lunch breaks—I looked into what the research actually says about the benefits of children having grandparents.

It turns out, there are a lot.

Studies from Boston College and the University of Oxford show that children with involved grandparents experience:

  • Lower levels of depression

  • Better emotional resilience

  • Stronger social skills

  • A deeper sense of identity and belonging

  • More stable support systems during stressful times

Basically, grandparents are emotional Wi-Fi: they keep everyone connected in a way you don’t fully appreciate until you can’t log in.

Losing Intergenerational Wisdom

And beyond emotional support, something else gets lost when there are no grandparents or elders around: the know-how.

The kinds of life skills people used to learn by watching, listening, and living close to older generations:

  • How to raise chickens so they stop escaping

  • How to grow herbs that actually help when you’re sick

  • How to compost properly

  • What to do with a bumper crop of tomatoes

  • How to fix minor things without Googling frantically

  • How to preserve food, mend clothes, and clean without chemicals

  • Or simply: how to stay calm because life has been worse, and you’ve survived it

These skills were once passed down almost automatically. Modernization wiped a lot of that out.

My Digital Grandmother: Nancy Birtwhistle

So where do I go for this missing wisdom?

A British grandmother on the internet, of course.

Her name is Nancy Birtwhistle. She won The Great British Bake Off years ago, but she’s now famous for her non-toxic cleaning recipes, practical cooking tips, and sustainable home hacks—exactly the kind of knowledge many grandparents used to pass down.

Because our flower farm is chemical-free, I’ve adopted many of Nancy’s methods. Thanks to her, my children think I’m some sort of spot-removal whisperer, capable of rescuing shirts that should have been legally pronounced dead.

If you want to live a little greener, or clean in a way that won’t singe your eyebrows, I highly recommend following her.

Farm Happenings

And now—the weekly update from the farm!

Peonies: Planted!

I finished planting all my peonies, and I’d like someone to give me a medal, a cookie, or a very long nap.

Tulip Bulbs

We’re holding off until after Thanksgiving. Cape May is still warm enough that the bulbs would roll their eyes at me if I put them in the ground now.

Dahlias & Rain Alert

For those overwintering dahlias in-ground: next week’s forecast looks like a lot of rain. Wet soil + dahlia tubers = rot city. If you haven’t mulched or covered them, now’s the time.

Martha Stewart just posted her overwintering method—compost layer + waterproof cover—and honestly, I might copy her. Composting is never a bad idea.

Early Black Friday

Our Early Black Friday Mini Subscription discounted pricing ends Tuesday, 11/25. After Cyber Monday, it’s gone for good. If you want spring flowers to look forward to, this is the time.

Winter Wreath Workshops

Running through mid-December! It’s a beautiful tradition, and one you can pass down—grandchildren or not.